DOIN' TIME ON PLANET EARTH

The film focuses on Ryan Richmond, an intelligent teenage boy who lives in his family's Holiday Inn in Arizona. Ryan is an outcast amongst his peers and family, to the point where he only has a single friend. His intelligence wins him the ability to study abroad, however Ryan's parents are more interested in the wedding for their eldest son Jeff, who is engaged to the daughter of a politician. Not wanting to attend alone, Ryan asks Lisa, a lounge singer who works at the hotel bar, but she refuses due to a large age gap and lifestyle differences. Ryan then turns to a computer dating service, only for the questions to become stranger and stranger until it tells him that he is an alien.

Soon after Ryan is approached by Charles and Virginia, who inform him that they are also aliens and that they created the dating service as a way to find others like them. They further state that Ryan is their leader, that the coordinates to their home planet is locked inside of his brain and can be unlocked via a sexual encounter, and that his father's rotating lounge is actually a spaceship in disguise that they will use to return to their planet. Ryan is dismissive of their claims but later wonders if they are telling the truth when he realizes that he does have some of the abilities they list as unique to their alien species, such as the ability to inhale helium without any side effects.

Ryan decides to try and unlock the coordinates and convinces a reluctant Lisa to give him a blow-job. This seemingly gives him the coordinates: B52. Charles and Virginia decide that the time to leave is the upcoming blue moon, which coincides with Jeff's wedding. Ryan is initially eager to leave with them, but decides against leaving after Lisa requites his affections. The "aliens" crash the wedding reception at the lounge at the same time his father manages to successfully get the lounge rotating. Charles and Virginia begin to eagerly count down to takeoff, only for their plans to get foiled when an emergency brake Ryan's father installed is enabled. Charles, Virginia, and their followers flee into the desert, with a new plan to investigate the Taj Mahal, leaving it unanswered if they were actually aliens or if they were just delusional.