THE STATUE

Professor Alex Bolt has developed a new universal language, Unispeak, which has made him internationally famous, winning a Nobel Prize at a surprise ceremony. His wife Rhonda has made a sculpture of her husband at the behest of the US State Department, commissioned by his friend, US Ambassador to the United Kingdom, Ray Whitely, for $50,000, in order to promote Unispeak. It is intended that the sculpture be unveiled in London's Grosvenor Square.

The sculpture is an 18-foot Greco-Roman style nude statue of Alex. He is embarrassed and fears it will cause a PR disaster and jeopardise his status. The two fight over whether the statue should be exhibited at all; further, Alex becomes enraged when he realises that the only parts of the statue to not resemble himself are the genitals.

Rhonda points out that she has only seen Alex eighteen days in the past three years. Rhonda is intensely amorous for Alex, but angrily rejects his company over the statue argument. Alex becomes convinced that Rhonda has had an affair and that her illicit model, whom he dubs "Charlie", must be the model for the mystery genitals. Meanwhile, Ray, who has no idea about the statue's appearance, fights with Alex over the unveiling of the statue. He begins to use CIA operatives to tail Alex and photograph his movements in an attempt to ruin and discredit him.

Alex seeks advice from his friend Harry, an advertising man trained as a psychiatrist. Members of the British government inform him that the statue is technically defamation if it doesn't represent his private parts accurately, so on Harry's advice, he tries to track down the model of the statue in order to prove the culprit and thus get it suppressed entirely.

Alex interrogates a household employee, Joachim, who thinks Alex is accusing him of an affair with his wife and attacks him. Joachim proceeds to give information to the Portuguese embassy, which makes it to Ray, who steps up his spying campaign. Alex then goes to a Turkish bathhouse to interview possible Charlies but is caught by the attendant and thrown out.

Harry suggests that Alex move on and forget about it, to which he ultimately commits. He surprises Rhonda with an array of thoughtful notes and gifts and a heartfelt apology, and the two retire to their bed in the first time in years. However, the enormous statue casts a shadow visible from the bedroom, and Alex becomes functionally impotent at the reminder. Alex and Rhonda fight once again, and Alex resumes the search for "Charlie".

Ray and his team of American diplomats have become increasingly disturbed as they catalogue Alex's various attempts to view men's genitals, believing him to be a pervert. Ray attempts to manipulate and seduce Rhonda in her loneliness, and Rhonda shows Ray the statue. Ray immediately reverses plans, as he too fears the effects of the statue's unveiling. After cornering Alex with the evidence of his seemingly perverted activities, the two come to a truce, with Ray sending his CIA and American military assets to help him track down the last few suspects.

Many hijinks and cul-de-sacs later, Alex has truly begun to give up hope for the mission. Harry meanwhile encourages him to pursue the final candidate, a sculptor living in Florence. Ray meanwhile decides to betray both Alex and Rhonda, by having two special military operatives break into Rhonda's studio and saw the private parts off of the statue. The operatives leave no evidence, and Rhonda becomes convinced that Alex did this; when Alex turns up again with another apology, she accuses him of deceit.

Alex decides to track down the final possible culprit; the Italian police are after him thanks to Ray and Rhonda, but he eventually tracks down what turns out to be an elderly sculptor who mentored Rhonda years ago. The sculptor directs Alex to find someone "well known" in a town square in Venice, and after a hectic police chase, Alex discovers the model source all along: the statue of David by Michelangelo.

Ray, believing that Rhonda is going to scrap the statue and make a new one, has the severed genitals discarded by a roadside, where they are immediately discovered by truant schoolboys and presented to their teacher. Ultimately, at the grand unveiling at the ceremony, Rhonda reveals that the statue has been recompleted, with exposed genitals and all – only that the head has been remodelled to resemble Ray.

Alex and Rhonda attempt to reconcile, but the statue's looming presence reignites Alex's suspicions and insecurities, prompting him to resume his search for 'Charlie' as diplomatic chaos swirls around the statue's unveiling.

The ending underscores how pride and paranoia can sabotage both personal and public triumphs. Alex’s inability to let go of his suspicions about the statue’s model exposes his vulnerabilities, while the farcical involvement of diplomats and spies satirizes the absurdity of image management on a grand stage. Ultimately, the film lands as a comedy of marital miscommunication and the hazards of letting ego get carved in stone.