SassyFlix | Albino Farm

Albino Farm

  • R
  • 2009-09-09
  • 01:25:00
4/ 10
1421 votes


The film opens in the small town of Shiloh, where two boys on bicycles ride through the woods up to the gates of the legendary Albino Farm. The oldest goes in and the youngest stays outside. The oldest boasts he isn't scared of anything, and then a figure leaps out and drags him into the woods.

The film cuts to Stacey (Tammin Sursok), Melody (Alicia Lagano), Brian (Nick Richey), and Sanjay (Sunkrish Bala) driving down a forest road, working on a history research project about backwoods American customs and legends. They almost hit someone, whom they initially take to be a young boy, scraping roadkill off the asphalt. To their sudden fright, the "child" turns out to be a dwarf who turns his head, with an unsettling countenance.

When they walk back to their SUV, they see they have a flat tire. They keep driving until they see a gas station with a local man (Duane Whitaker) out front, who is blind. They talk to him and he talks eccentrically and incoherently, with a biblical turn. They acquire a tire to replace the flat one; Brian, the jerk of the group, deliberately underpays the blind man.

The students continue their trip and stop at a white tent pitched in a field. Melody and Brian head up to investigate and are greeted by another local with a harelip who tells them about the Albino Farm and alludes that it may be a legend. There's a revival meeting in the tent, and the harelipped man strongly suggest that they receive salvation. The foursome keeps driving until they reach the old-fashioned town of Shiloh. They stop at a diner and eat, as night falls. They're served by a friendly, buxom waitress whom Brian and Sanjay knock themselves out over until they note that she has deformed hands, with clawlike fingers. Brian and Melody go looking for the Albino Farm while Sanjay and Stacey talk to an old woman inside an old church who suspiciously and unconvincingly tells them there is no such thing as the Albino Farm. Retreating to a back room, Stacey and Sanjay enter to see the woman breastfeeding a hideously deformed baby.

Meanwhile, Melody and Brian ask a small boy, who communicates via chalkboard, where the Albino Farm is. He tells them to ask a group of unruly and somewhat disgusting teens in a car. There they meet Levi (Chris Jericho) and his two deaf friends, who agree to take them to the Albino Farm for twenty-five dollars and a view of Melody's breasts. After a minor argument, Melody reluctantly agrees, and they head off to the Albino Farm. The teens drive crazily, causing Melody to vomit. They stop in front of the gates to the farm and get into an argument. A fight between Levi and Brian breaks out and the teens drive away after flipping them off. Brian and Melody enter an old house and Brian sees a person and chases after them, with Melody following. Brian gets his leg caught in a bear trap.

Sanjay and Stacey go looking for their friends and ask the same boy for directions. After driving to the farm with the boy as a guide, who bikes away after they arrive. They find a hysterical Melody, and she leads them to where she had last saw Brian, but he is gone. He had been captured and brought to a house inhabited by strange, horribly deformed people—one with a tongue protruding from a rosebud mouth, one with a pinhead, and several of them pig-like. The "Pig Bitch" (Bianca Barnett) reveals her cleavage and does a striptease for Brian, who rejects her. She then takes a meat hook and shoves it through Brian's mouth and cheek.

Melody, Sanjay, and Stacey, after hearing their car alarm, run back to their car to see that it has been oddly vandalized. Sanjay's camera, luckily, catches the perpetrator, who had also taken their luggage. The three go searching for Brian and find their luggage in a clearing, along with other people's. They then see a tree hung with skulls and bones. Going ballistic, Melody runs back through the woods, only to get attacked by the deformed pig people and have her neck snapped.

Stacey and Sanjay find a dilapidated shack and enter cautiously. They see Brian in a chair with his back to them and approach him quietly, only to realize that he's dead. The pig people arrive at the shack and barricade the door. One of them breaks through the wall, but Sanjay hits him in the arm with an axe. The shack catches fire; Stacey and Sanjay flee into the woods. They discover Melody hanging upside down in the bone tree. They run, and the crazed, deformed clan chases them. They hide behind a tree, letting the killers pass without seeing them, but the killers wind up finding them and force them to continue running. They soon bump into the Pig Bitch, who knocks them out and captures them.

They wake up in a cave and find their arms sewn together. They hobble away and stumble upon the pig people's cave campsite. One sees them, and the pair race away. They light a torch and try to rip their arms apart. They gorily succeed. They try to escape, but are attacked by the Pig Bitch. Stacey jabs the torch into her face, forcing her to let go, and they get away. Sanjay ends up falling into a chasm. Stacey climbs down into the chasm and consoles, him and then turns on some propane tanks when Pig Bitch attacks Stacey with a meat hook. Stacey and Pig Bitch fight.

The rest of the monsters arrive, and Sanjay comes to and reaches for the torch. Pig Bitch and Stacey choke each other, and Stacey rips out some of Pig Bitch's hair. Stacey then picks up the meat hook and slashes Pig Bitch's throat before repeatedly stabbing her with the hook. Sanjay then heroically lights the torch, killing himself and a good number of the deformed people, and Stacey runs out of the cave as an explosion ensues, knocking her out.

Stacey wakes up as dawn breaks and runs into the woods before reaching a field. She drops the meat hook as she comes upon the same white tent where a church congregation is meeting. She hysterically runs in and tries to explain what has happened. The preacher, who takes off his sunglasses and reveals abnormally light (albino) eyes, laughs with the rest of the congregation. The congregation is composed of people who are deformed as well—not as horribly as the Albino Farm residents, but in the unsettling way of a freak show—Siamese twin sisters, another suckling deformed baby, a man with a stretched-out smile, another with a fat, pasty face, and the dwarf encountered earlier. As Stacey cries, "My God, its the whole town!" the preacher quotes the passage about the sins of the fathers visiting the children. The audience, visibly amused, sings on, with Stacey, who by now is completely over the edge, grins widely and manically.