THE LIQUIDATOR

During the Allies' occupation of Paris late in World War II, bumbling tank corps Sergeant "Boysie" Oakes stumbles when responding to a fellow Englishman's call for help, and unwittingly shoots and kills two men attempting to assassinate British Intelligence Major Mostyn. A grateful Mostyn mistakenly believes Oakes is a born killer.

Twenty-one years later, Mostyn (then a colonel in British Intelligence) and his boss are in trouble due to a series of embarrassing security leaks. To save his job, the chief orders Mostyn to hire an assassin to illegally eliminate security problems without official authorisation. Mostyn recruits Oakes into MI5 without first telling him what his employment will entail, luring him in with a lavish apartment and a fancy sports car. After Oakes passes a training course, Mostyn informs him that his code name is "L", for "Liquidator", and he is employed as a paid assassin. Unable to resign and not at all a killer by nature, Oakes secretly hires freelance contract killer Griffin to do the dirty work.

Oakes is drawn to Mostyn's sexy secretary Iris, in spite of Mostyn's explicit detailing of an Agency prohibition against spies and civilian employees fraternising. Determined to risk grave consequences, the womanizing Oakes persuades Iris to spend the weekend with him on the Côte d'Azur. Falling for a lure, Oakes is captured by enemy agents led by Sheriek, who firmly believes he is on assignment in the south of France rather than there on an assignation. Sheriek demands to know who Oakes' target is. However, Sheriek's superior, Chekhov, is coldly furious that he has gone beyond his orders to merely surveil Oakes, and has endangered a much more important operation. He has Sheriek arrange for Oakes to escape.

Agent Quadrant, an Agency higher-up, arrives with a new mission for Oakes. He is to stage a fake assassination attempt on the Duke of Edinburgh when he visits a Royal Air Force base, to test its security. Just before pulling the trigger of a telescopic sniper rifle he has been assured is full of blanks, Oakes recognizes that Mostyn has taken the Duke's place in the troop inspection, and Quadrant is actually an enemy agent. While Mostyn and Oakes are distracted (with Mostyn challenging Oakes's loyalty), Quadrant and an accomplice steal an advanced Vulture supersonic nuclear bomber. Oakes manages to wound Quadrant and board the plane before it can take off. To his surprise, its pilot is none other than Iris, who informs him that she is actually the coordinator of the entire operation. He is able to overpower her and between autopilot and an experienced Vulture pilot "talking him down", he is able to return the aircraft to the base.

No sooner is he down than Oakes is eyeing Mostyn's new - and equally ravishing -secretary. More trouble lies ahead.

Oakes foils an enemy plot to steal a nuclear bomber, unmasks a double agent, and safely returns the plane—with a new secretary catching his eye as the dust settles.

The climax reinforces Boysie Oakes as a reluctant, yet surprisingly lucky agent who survives by wit and accident rather than skill. While the real spycraft is handled off-screen and often by others, Oakes’s knack for landing on his feet—despite his ineptitude—parodies the infallibility of traditional secret agents. The ending leaves Oakes unrepentant and ready for more misadventures, suggesting the farcical spy world will always have room for an accidental hero.