THE FILTH SHOP

A crime syndicate abducts young women and forces them into pornography.

Here’s a real Times Square howler that gives new meaning to the phrase “The Devil Made Me Do It!”

Lola Lust, a hatchet-faced temptress, visits New York seeking men to bring back to Hell. Joining her is Beelzebub himself, who looks like a cross between the Hamburglar and confetti-tossing comedian Rip Taylor.

The unkempt couple squat on a ratty couch in a dark, dingy apartment, light candles and “check their files.” They eavesdrop on a variety of “sexy and evil people” who are boiling over in sweaty fornication. During the sex scenes, the gruesome twosome cackle and make wisecracks. The Devil, prone to giggling fits, says things like, “Normal affection upsets me.”

The “sexy people” on display include a butt-ugly stripper (on the verge of tears) who disrobes and paws her hirsute triangle like she’s picking at a scab…. Next up is “Dickie,” who reads poetry while fondling a vibrator…. “Liz Taylor” drops by for some nooky. “I’m glad she found someone worthy of her evilness,” says Lola….

After that, “Philler Diller, the Bathtub Spiller” and her lesbian lover soap up their mudflaps and get some sexercise with an umbrella. Our commentators are impressed: “Even in Hell, I’ve never heard of such a thing!”

When the piping hot bubble bath ends, Uncle Weatherby, the “Hippy-Dippy Weatherman,” shows us the joys of body painting. He paints daisies, snakes, and butterflies on a comatose model’s rump. (Satan gets so turned on by the work of art that he vows to meet the model, and arranges a “train accident” for the little lady!)

Other sinners include “Obscene Martin,” “Sultry Selena,” and two gay gentlemen named Bill and Bob: “They’re so enchanting!”

The Filth Shop ends when Lola gets a phone call…. “DBC. Devil Broadcasting Company. Can I help you?” “Good news! We’ve got the President!” Lola shouts.

This is followed by Lola and the Devil blowing us all an “evil kiss goodbye.” Just like on The Dating Game.

The Filth Shop is another buried treasure from those wonderful folks at American Film Distributing Corp., who also sent out a second curiosity by director LOONEY BEAR (give the guy a break; would you put your name on this?) entitled Meet the Sex, with the same cast — including Lola Lust and Mr. Satan — as The Filth Shop. In fact, The Filth Shop and Meet the Sex are so similar, they were undoubtedly shot simultaneously. More than likely, the two films were probably meant to be one but, instead, were cut in half and released as two separate jaw droppers. Which, of course, must’ve given deranged déjá vu to more than a couple of grindhouse perverts…