BIRDS DO IT

There are series of unsuccessful assassination attempts by an unknown organisation targeting Melvin Byrd. Byrd is a janitor in a NASA laboratory headed by Major General Smithburn with his security officer being an inept bungler, Lt. Porter. Porter is captured and impersonated by an enemy double from the same organization attempting to kill Byrd.

The head scientist Professor Waid has employed Byrd due to his excellent janitorial skills as Waid blames American space program failures on dust that caused disasters. Byrd parodies the Ajax "stronger than dirt" white knight commercial when cleaning the base.

Waid's secret project is developing an ionisation process initially to be tested on a chimpanzee that would make the subject capable of anti-gravity with a side effect that not only gives him the ability to fly, but makes him "the most attractive man" on Earth. When General Smithburn leads a Congressional delegation who are in Florida due to European junkets being cancelled, Byrd hides in the ionization machine, causing him to be ionized. In addition to losing the ability to stay on the ground for longer than brief periods, Byrd finds himself forced to fight off the attentions of a Congresswoman and Waid's daughter Claudine as well as the assassins.